 info Jeff Lim ; 3rd July
The feeling that I'm aware, is more helplessness than cowardice.
I peel off my frail consciousness slowly, so my footsteps won't make a sound
Becoming ashes, scattering into tiny pieces.
I ask my subconsciousness... What more?
Tears starts to fall, without a trace..
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Monday, May 28, 2007
".累." Today is AA1 de CA. Think gone case le. Goodwill never touch dao. 20 marks gone. Appropriation account. Haha. Think cannot make it also ba. Sigh. Think I'm gonna be up for a retest. As well as for Costing. Today never go PIE. 3:30pm AA end then jun wei they all going home so. Ya. Don't wanna be lonely. So I went back home also. Same thing. The journey back home seems so lonely. So long. Sigh. Listen to my iPod. Seems to stuck on "Would You Be There". Cause inside the playlist only got that song then keep repeating. From the moment I step out of school. The music starts to play. Over and over again. Until I reached Simei MRT. Until I reached Pasir Ris MRT. Until I board 359. And until I reach my room the song still playing. Am I nuts? Sigh... Reach home. On computer. Listen song. Is that song again. OMG!! I'm insane!! Well.. Mummy ask me go my sister house for dinner. I don't want to go at first. After that don't know why. Then just. Okay la. Go. I cycled there. Despite my leg injury. For the whole journey. I is heh heh quan one. Really out of breath. Then almost reaching the condo entrance. I really cannot already. Started to PUSH my bike up the stupid slope. lols. What's wrong with me? Why am I so god damn tired these days? But in the night. I don't get any good sleep. I walk up many times in the night. I am awake. Feel so fucked up. Cause its like. My brain my body is all tired. But I can't get any moment of good rest. I feel like seeing a psychiatrist.... Had dinner at sister house the rooftop. So boring. Maybe because she ain't there. Feel so lonely. See the moon. See the sky. Think of the time whereby I and her. At there. Then my nephew there. Then barbecue. The barbecue pit cracked. Then hurt her eye a little. Sigh.. These are the days. Where all that I can do is dream. I'm stuck in in a place without love. And I just can't let it stay these way. But for now I'm gonna have to face it. These are the days..... Today Mars Vesus Venus last episode le. Expected to have a happy ending. But in my life ne..? "Short hair can grow.. Happiness once lost. Can never be found back.." Something like that. I've lost mine. And yes. I can never find my happiness back..... Many things the show say. Are very true. How I wish I can like have a complete list of what the show always say about love. Very meaningful and true. Sigh.. But for now. How I am. It doesn't matter ba. How hurt I am now. I'll just have to keep it deep inside..... Sigh.......................... My mother keep asking me. Still got contact with her? Still got sms her? Sigh... How I wish I can happily tell her. "Yes! And we together again le." But the fact. It isn't this way.... |