Went out with wei hong this morning. Walk not long, went home le. Because I am having fever. 37.9 degrees. Walk until want faint want faint like that. Then no choice have to go back home and rest. Sigh. I feel so tired wearing a "mask" wherever I go. I am not being myself. I'm tired. Really tired. I don't want to be like this myself. I want to be what I used to be. But I'm trying very hard, to hide all my feelings inside. I want to be happy. With her. But I know I can't. She don't even reply my message. Friends also can't be. Although I don't want to be friends. I want to be more than just friends. I want to be a couple. Like how we used to be. Today see so many couples. I think of her and me. I think of our past. I feel sad I feel jealous I feel envious. I want her back.. But I know........ Sigh...... Now that I am really down. Really sick. I need her by my side. But I know its just my wishful thinking.. Sigh..... Good luck Jeff.