 info Jeff Lim ; 3rd July
The feeling that I'm aware, is more helplessness than cowardice.
I peel off my frail consciousness slowly, so my footsteps won't make a sound
Becoming ashes, scattering into tiny pieces.
I ask my subconsciousness... What more?
Tears starts to fall, without a trace..
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007
".useless." I feel myself so useless. Because of my costing CA result. Sigh.. I know there will be worst de. Advanced Accounting de CA result. Sigh. I really understand the meaning of "you rip what you sow" or something like that? Sigh.. Don't really wish to talk. How I wish I can lie on her shoulder.. Have her shoulder to cry on. I feel very very down. But so what? She also won't be here.. For me... Today is quite suay la. PE de shi hou play floorball. Play halfway the stick came flying right at my face. Few people were going for the ball. Then Kelvin swing his stick too high. As a result kena my face lorz. Chin bone there. Sibeh pain. But doesn't matter la. Sigh... Daddy, Mummy going Malaysia soon. Everytime. Also got her pei me. Now ne? lols.. Think everyday after school. Go home. Cook maggi mee. If not don't eat lorz. Si bu liaoz. Gastric pain lorz. Better is faint dao. Until daddy mummy come home. At the same time no need go school. Just sleep. Si diao sua le. Today feeling quite unwell. Early morning wake up. Gastric very pain. Die die go school. Cause at home got nothing to do. Will think of her. Never mind. Pain until I reach Whitesands. Thinking.. I want go home want go home. Want go home in the end end up at Simei. Then just yi bian pain yi bian walk to school. Then go PE. Tio whack by hockey stick. Never mind. Then finish PE. Go lunch. Wa. Drink two cans of fizzy drinks. Drink until I cannot breathe. Sibeh tokkong. Hais. What's wrong with me. Lately been hurting my own body so often. Bike few times. Still got what. I can't remember. This post seems so crap. So fucked up. Cause I just spit what is inside. Never think what I want write and just type. Because I am crazy I am mad I am insane I am an idiot. And because I don't know what is happening to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone know of any xing li yi sheng or counsellor can recommend me, tell me? I don't want those from school. I want outside one. Thanks. |