 info Jeff Lim ; 3rd July
The feeling that I'm aware, is more helplessness than cowardice.
I peel off my frail consciousness slowly, so my footsteps won't make a sound
Becoming ashes, scattering into tiny pieces.
I ask my subconsciousness... What more?
Tears starts to fall, without a trace..
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Sunday, May 27, 2007
".would.you.?." Afternoon de shi hou. Out of nowhere. Started talking to her. In her eyes. I'm happy. Have my own life. Bullshit. Always she see the outside. What about the inside. Am I really happy? Does it mean outside is happy means inside is happy? outside not happy means inside not happy? Come on. Do I have to show my feelings out? Just like you. Last time when we quarrel. You can act like nothing happen and enjoy with your friends. Mean you really happy? zZz! Don't just see things from your point of view or just by what you see what you think or from just one side of perspective. THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY. Remember this! Left me alone de shi ni. Hurt me most deeply de ye shi ni. You chose to walk this path. Instead of giving me love you chose to hurt me. Deep deep down. Again and again. I told you. I won't step into another relationship. You start by keep saying give others a chance give youself a chance. Completely bullshit. Love CANNOT BE FORCED. I love you means I love you. You can choose to NOT love me. But you can't force me to love others or don't love you. From the begginning. When we first started. I said I would love you til the end. Until now I still mean it. I don't have to bother what others think. Or even what you think. Cause after all no one can change the fact that my heart only does have you. Do you know what is "Ir-replaceable"? By now. You should know what kind of asshole I am. An idiot who say love means love. And is love wholeheartedly. I know what I want. Clearly. People may say I'm silly I'm stupid. But this is me. I've lost you once. I've lost you twice. If I have a chance. I won't want to score a hattrick and lose you thrice. You hurt me once. You hurt me twice. Do you want me to be hurt forever? Living with a broken heart. Wo bu shi assholes who play with love. All the love I gave you. Its all from my heart. Deep from my heart. And I won't take all of them back. No matter how much you hurt me. After all. I know I still love you as much. I still need you by my side. I got no regrets loving you at all. Mars Versus Venus the show. Really inspire me a lot. Like what "Ziling" said on the previous episode. "Humans are so tiny from up above. And we met in such a big world. It takes a lot a lot of fate. Then why must take it lightly and waste all these fate that god gave us?" Somehow like that. I don't know how to translate. Yeah. I know I mean nothing to you. I'm may be just a passerby in your life. But I need you to know. You aren't just a passerby in my life. You're the ROOT to my life. Memories you kept in your heart. I don't want them to just be kept only. I want more memories in your heart. I know I can't. Or rather. I don't have the chance to do so. But bu guan 3.7.21. I'll always be somewhere. In this world. Praying for you. Because whenever you need me. I'll be there. Whenever you want me back. I'll be there. Whenever you need love. I'll be there. Whenever you need someone to talk to. I'll be there. Just a phone call or sms away. And I'll be there. But... Would you..............? Would you be there? for me..... |