 info Jeff Lim ; 3rd July
The feeling that I'm aware, is more helplessness than cowardice.
I peel off my frail consciousness slowly, so my footsteps won't make a sound
Becoming ashes, scattering into tiny pieces.
I ask my subconsciousness... What more?
Tears starts to fall, without a trace..
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007
".hostage." I'm a hostage of a nameless feeling. I feel very messed up. Do I still feel for her? Or do I not? Is it because of loneliness? That cause me to feel so empty? After 4 years of having someone beside me. Is it so easy to just treat like nothing happen? It just feel as though something or someone or a particular object is missing. For a while. I thought I can be completely alright. For the past weeks. I thought I can be happy. I try to be happy. Eventually I found out. Actually I am not happy at all. Is time all I need? Can time heal a broken heart? Or it only determines how long a person have been suffering? Everyday seems like that same. Wake up, go school, go home, eat, sleep. No life! I hate myself. I hate my own character. I want to be able to take and let go easily. Easy come easy go. Is this consider good or bad to have such character? Huh? After all, I hate this character of mine! Sometimes. People say, by transferring your love to another person is the way to free yourself from sorrow. By doing this. It isn't far to the other person at all. Its like you be with him/her just to get rid of your sorrow. What the heck is this? And it is never easy to find someone whom you truely love and truely love you. Always, I am the one trying to help wei hong in his relationship stuff. But now? I can't solve my own relatiionship problem. Or rather my own feelings. Am I a failure? Am I so lousy? I know no one can solve these problems except for myself. But, I myself don't even know how to solve them. How to free myself from sadness. "AHA! 给我一杯忘情水。。" Got? Can enjoy de shi hou. I tried to enjoy. Like today PE is play frisbee. Quite fun. Then play want end le then rain. No good! My hair....!! Sob.. Sigh.. In school with wei zong they all de shi hou. I feel alright. Got them joke around and stuff; talk cock. But when I'm alone.. Sigh.. Just wth? |