 info Jeff Lim ; 3rd July
The feeling that I'm aware, is more helplessness than cowardice.
I peel off my frail consciousness slowly, so my footsteps won't make a sound
Becoming ashes, scattering into tiny pieces.
I ask my subconsciousness... What more?
Tears starts to fall, without a trace..
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Thursday, January 17, 2008
".dream...." I had a dream last night. As what it's called. Its a dream. Everything that's in the dream is fake. And will never come true. It's a kind of dream. I haven't had for at least half a year. Seriously it's more than that. Although it's something I hope now, or in the future will eventually come true. But I know clearly in my heart. It's not gonna be.. And... Strange thing is that the dream is about something that I've been giving a deep thought about just right before I sleep last night. I swear it was. I was clearing thinking about it while lying on the bed and there it was. It appeared in my dream. What does it mean? I don't know. Loving someone. Is wanting the person to be happy and blissful. I failed to. I failed very badly.. That's why things would end up this way. Human tend to only regret and understand after losing something, or someone. I am one. But time can never be reversed. Instead we could only move forward into the future. There is nothing I can do. Except to give her my blessing and hope that she's happy. I don't know if she is. To me it seems so. But to me it doesn't seems so too. Everyone is different, is unique. The method of loving varies too. And I guess no one at this moment can give me that feeling that I once had. Which I call it true love. I believe only people who know me well, know my past, know my present, simply know me, would understand what am I saying. 我这样是坚强，还是忘了爱的勉强。。 I don't say a thing. I don't show a thing. Does not mean I don't feel anything at all. All along its been in my heart. Is just that I'm deceiving myself. Telling myself that I've got no feeling at all anymore. But the fact is not as it seems. Looking back. It hurts so deeply, so bad. But I doubt she'll ever understand, ever know. And ever read this entry. I know it's been very very long since I become very very emo. But these few days. It just happened. I was given so many chances. But all of them just slipped through my hands without any effort put in. And there could only be regrets..... I miss every parts and parcels of the process. At the same time I missed the chance to have more parts and parcels of it. 我好挂念, 我会想念。那是我们都回不去的从前。你不是我现在的友情。你是我错过的爱情。也是我一生中，最大的遗撼。答应我，你一定要比我幸福。＊我们勾勾手。＊ Some say it wasn't worth the things we went through. I say it ain't worth losing you. I hope you know how much you've changed all our lives. Someday you'll see, if only through heaven's eyes.. I believe, that there's someone out there. Whom I'm waiting... Waiting to take over me, my heart... My life... My everything....... Tears rumble in my eyes, emptiness filled my broken heart while loneliness took over my life. 8931325 Am I Silly? |