 info Jeff Lim ; 3rd July
The feeling that I'm aware, is more helplessness than cowardice.
I peel off my frail consciousness slowly, so my footsteps won't make a sound
Becoming ashes, scattering into tiny pieces.
I ask my subconsciousness... What more?
Tears starts to fall, without a trace..
affiliates |
Sunday, June 08, 2008
"The Beginning Of The End...." This may be the very last entry of my blog. I've totally lost the hopes I have in life. All along I've been struggling to convince myself. But it turns out that I'm just deceiving myself from the start. Always I wonder. Why me? Why must it happen on me and not somebody else? No matter how beautiful face features I have, it all boils down to the fact that my complexion is a goner. The last thing I remembered was that it wasn't so bad before graduating. But during the so called "holidays", it just became worst and pimples pop out one after another. Why is this happenning? Why is it so unfair? My brother took the pimples pills when he's around my age and soon after all the pimples subsided and now he have a clear skin. But why ain't that the case on me? I took the pills even longer. Applied cream and so on which he did not used at all. Did the skin peeling prescribed by the doctor. And still pimples just pops out and ruin my face again and again. People say 年轻是本钱。But I have no assets at all but only bad debts. Irrecoverable. Always see people with nice and smooth complexion. Its only the question that pops out over and over. "Why me?" It's not like I'm asking for a baby smooth complexion. I just want a normal complexion. As long as its not like the aftermath of an earthquake. I don't know. I'm deprived. I've lost all the confidence I have.. To face everyone, to face myself.. Now all I do is hide myself at home everyday. The sun is my greatest enemy, while the night is when I roam freely.. I can't turn back time, nor can I accept the fact that it turns out this way. Thinking negative is not the way I want. But the thought of life being meaningless is something I can't help with. Guess no one would really understand the fact. But well. One more month and I'll be serving my National Service. Guess blogging or not doesn't seem to matter to me any longer... I may or may not come back to this place. Perhaps I'll be back when my life isn't so fucked. Since memories filled my life with no other spaces left. I shall fill this blog with plain memories of myself.... The Beginning Of The End - 08/06/2008 |