 info Jeff Lim ; 3rd July
The feeling that I'm aware, is more helplessness than cowardice.
I peel off my frail consciousness slowly, so my footsteps won't make a sound
Becoming ashes, scattering into tiny pieces.
I ask my subconsciousness... What more?
Tears starts to fall, without a trace..
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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The Last of... Last of 2008. Basically, I'm on deployment today. Went to work as per normal. Gear up and we're on ground by 5pm. I was stationed at City Hall. At then was just peak hour crowd. But as time passes, the crowd starts to come in. Especially after 10pm. But after 7pm we have to stand on the podium. That's when all passing eyes will be on you and your eyes will be running everywhere. To people, our job may just be redundant and stupid. But think again.. Something I noticed that people nowadays really have got nothing better to do. Countdown for 2009 with fireworks display at 0000 hours. 0005 hours fireworks ended and you see people rushing to take the train home. 5 minutes of excitement also song? For 2 whole long hours. City hall was packed with thousands of people. Many people blocking and standing one corner obstructing the passage way. And people just love to stand around our podium. Repeatedly we have to keep chasing people away.. Especially 90s teenagers. Want act fierce and guai lan. We see who more guai lan. Bunch of motherfckers. Stand down at 0200 hours. By then everyone's tired, 10 hours of standing, legs all cui already.. Back to base, ungear, debrief.. Left at 0330 hours and reached home at 0400. Well.. That's how I spent my last day of 2008. No life, but at least we made it through 2 major deployment within a week. Time to take a break and recharge our batteries.. Last of .. Time flies.. Have been blogging for the past one years eight months.. Which also equivalent to the time ... Well.. 2008 marks another chapter in my life. The life of National Service. But other than that, there's nothing worth mentioning as well. Perhaps it's the darkest period of my life. Still misses the times back in Secondary and ITE days. With everyday trying to skip school, skip lectures, skip lessons.. Carefree life. Priceless ! Unlike now. With tonnes of unhappiness, worries, burden, duty and responsibilities. Never really enjoyed and being happy for the past year of 2008. I wouldn't say I have a reason for it. Perhaps everyone have their own unsolved, unspoken problems deep within. As for now, think I'll just stop blogging. Can't find the meaning and purpose. Perhaps nothing happening in my life, that's why? Well.. Maybe things will be different in the future. But life's unpredictable. For all you know you may be lying in a coffin the very next moment.. That ain't emo. That's just being a realist. But well.. I just hope for the better in the new year.. Everything will change, but love remains the same.. Year of 2009 I can say there's many things I wish to achive. Doing something meaningful ! But in my opinion.. With tonnes and tonnes of money, you can do a lot of things.. Buy whatever you want, go wherever you like, but still, there'll be some things money can't buy. But hopefully I'll be able to achive greater heights in the years ahead.. Lastly, wish everyone I know, Happy New Year ! ッ |